Title: Image Chicago
Issue: Summer Fun '06
Price: $1.99 (Though you can find it for free throughout the city... I wonder why?)
Review: When I was in high school, I remember hating the world and holding grudges against the airheaded cheerleaders and muscle-headed jocks. Fortunately, like almost everyone does, I grew out of this adolescent insecure mindset. One look at this new magazine almost causes me to devolve to those simpler pimple-faced times. Too much exposure to a copy of Image Chicago may have you, once again, believing that people aren't complicated creatures with many layers, twists and turns to their personality, but simple, artificial constructs of consumerism and pop culture. Granted, there are people out there that fit this description. Some people can't give up the glory of their hierarchal high school status as a misogynist with the most friends and most expensive toys. Luckily for those people, Image Chicago exists precisely for them. It seems that this magazine's target audience is misogynist males with an over-inflated ego and misogynist females with a poor self image and lack of genuine self esteem.
The first thing I noticed while glancing at this issue of Image Chicago, was its dual issue format. On one side, the magazine is set up as a Chicago culture magazine for men. If you simply flip the magazine over, you find yourself looking at a Chicago culture magazine for women. Intrigued by this choice, I wanted to see what the difference in content was. Here is what I found:
Image Chicago For Men features a photo of a beautiful woman (R&B star, Amerie) in a seductive and intense pose on the cover. Image Chicago for Women features a beautiful nameless woman (accompanied and objectified by the line "Living Dolls") in a seductive and intense pose on the cover.
IC for men contains photos of young and hip twenty-somethings having fun at clubs, short vapid interviews with a local DJ and entrepreneur, a section of extremely expensive consumer goods that are supposed to make you look stylish and keep you technologically entertained, health advice on how to bulk up your legs for the beach, dating advice on how not to be a stalker and several pictures of half-dressed women. IC for women contains photos of young and hip twenty-somethings having fun at clubs, short vapid interviews with a local hostess and artist, a section of extremely expensive salons and boutiques that are supposed to make you look desirable to the men reading the other side of the magazine, health advice on how to lose weight (because all women are too fat) and fit into your bikini, hair removal advice, several pictures of half dressed women (?) and two (count 'em, TWO) articles on plastic surgery advice.
As you can see, this magazine is obviously geared toward the empowerment of its readers with quick-fix solutions such as plastic surgery and shopping sprees.
The second thing I noticed about Image Chicago was its extreme whiteness. Nearly 90% of the images of young and hip twenty-somethings depict white people smiling and sticking out their skin-tight wrapped privates. Every once in a while there will be a slightly hispanic man or an asian woman in a group picture somewhere. Perhaps "WASP Chicago" would be a better title for this magazine? I don't have anything against white people in general. White people can be great! I am one (though I doubt I'll ever make it into the pages of Image Chicago)! My problem is if you are going to publish a culture magazine about one of the most racially diverse cities in America, then how about some color?
Scanning the pages of this Chicago culture magazine, I tried to find something redeeming about it. Tooling through the men's side of the magazine I came across an article about a Winter Music Conference that was held in the beginning of this year. Wow! A music conference in Chicago? Why hadn't I heard about this? I turned the page and found out the answer to my question... Because this music conference was held in Miami, not Chicago! How is this about Chicago culture? Let's see. There are more pictures of scantily clad women and men having fun in Miami. There's even a black guy! Oh wait, it's P Diddy. That doesn't count. Look! Another black guy! Wait, it's Jamie Foxx. That doesn't count either. Keep looking... Aha! There it is! A picture of a guy holding on to a lovely blonde in a bikini with a CUBS HAT ON!!! Woo Hoo! Dude in Miami repping Chicago! I love this city. Now where can I buy that Lamborghini Gallard Spyder advertised on page 24?
Magazines like this make me viscerally sick. Someone gets an idea to take pictures of drunk people, write short articles that appeal to the same people's triteness and collect checks from local advertisers in order to plaster the city's dumpsters and frat bathrooms with pulp for men to masturbate over (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc...). I've read better zines from high school freshmen.
I know that even bad publicity is good publicity, but I couldn't restrain my repulsion. I had to share. If you see a copy of this at your local freebee stand, leave it be. Or pick it up and read it. You'll see what I mean when you do.
Rating: .01 / 5
P.S. By the way, Morgan's on Maxwell Street, I've been in your establishment before and the scene never looks like the pictures in your ad. I know you have a hundreds of UIC students across the street from you, but who are you trying to kid? I hope today's college students aren't that naive.
